Bernie Wins New Hampshire, Biden Fades and Klobuchar Surges | The Daily Show


Coming out of the Iowa primary, the big winners were
Bernie Sanders, Pete Buttigieg, and anyone who didn’t build
that shitty app. And last night in New Hampshire, those top two kept
their momentum going. REPORTER:
With a win in New Hampshire, Senator Bernie Sanders
taking control as the Democratic frontrunner. But not too far behind him, Pete Buttigieg. Despite winning
the popular vote in both Iowa and New Hampshire, Sanders is behind in the
overall delegate race by two. REPORTER 2: One of the night’s
other big winners, Senator Amy Klobuchar,
who took third place. She capitalized on the moment by reintroducing herself
to the country. Hello, America. I’m Amy Klobuchar, and I will beat Donald Trump. Yes, last night
may have been the best night for Bernie Sanders since he won
that free cruise on Noah’s ark. But New Hampshire’s biggest
surprise was Amy Klobuchar, who burst
into the national spotlight with a third place finish. And the timing couldn’t be
better for Klobuchar. Because, in many ways, you see, the presidential campaigns are
like getting drunk at a party. Right? You want to peak
at the right time. See, the other candidates,
they had their surge last year, which was too early. It’s like getting wasted
at 6:00 p.m. Yeah. Because by the time
the party’s really going, you’re puking in the bushes,
like… (retching) “I’m so… “I’m so sorry
I didn’t pace myself. (cries) I promise I’ll do better
in South Carolina.” So there’s no denying
that New Hampshire was great for Amy Klobuchar’s campaign, and it was also a great night for newspeople
who love wordplay. Senator Amy Klobuchar
rode the Klo-mentum. Are you feeling Klo-mentum? Klo-mentum is real,
and she has it. A Kloba-surge. -Klo-mentum.
-Klo-mentum. Klo-mentum. Klobu-charged.
Klobu-surge. They call it Klo-motion. Is there Klo-mentum? Oh! This is fun.
I want to try, I want to try. It’s Klo-bbering time! Yeah, yeah. She gave them
the old Klope-a-dope. (chuckles) Yeah. New Hampshire
has an outbreak of Klo-mydia. -(chuckles)
-(gasping, laughter) All right, I’m done, I’m done. I’m done. I’m done. She killed it
like Klo J. Simpson! -Okay, I’m done, I’m done!
-(gasping, laughter) I’m done, I’m done. No more. No more, no more. No more. (laughter) So, for Bernie, Buttigieg,
and Klobuchar, New Hampshire was a dream. But, unfortunately, for
some other big-name candidates, it turned into a nightmare. REPORTER: Another major
New Hampshire headline, the candidates
who fell far behind, including long-time
national frontrunner Joe Biden and Senator Elizabeth Warren. Both failed to get enough votes
to earn any delegates. Before the race was called, Biden, who placed fifth, was
on a plane to South Carolina, which will hold
the nation’s next primary. REPORTER 2: Biden saw
the writing on the wall. He had left even before
the polls had closed, livestreaming
into his campaign’s New Hampshire watch party. Ooh.
Joe Biden left New Hampshire before the polls
were even closed? I mean, I’ve heard
of fans leaving the game early, but you know it’s bad
when the team leaves early to beat the traffic. The coach is just like,
“All right, guys, screw the fourth quarter.
Uh, let’s just start the bus.” I also feel especially bad for
Biden supporters. I’ll say that. Think about it–
you came all the way out to see your candidate, and then,
instead, all you get is a video? Imagine you were in, like,
the dentist’s chair and your doctor pops up
on the screen like, “Aloha from Hawaii. Here are three simple steps
to perform your own root canal!” So while Biden supporters
wept frozen New Hampshire tears, the man himself
was already in South Carolina looking toward the future. REPORTER: Joe Biden spent
his night in South Carolina. His campaign
is staking survival on his strength
with black voters. I want y’all
to think of a number! 99.9%. That’s the percentage
of African American voters who have not yet had a chance
to vote in America. Up till now, we haven’t heard from the most committed
constituents in the Democratic Party, the African-American community. (cheering) That’s right.
Joe Biden’s campaign has basically become
a Madea movie. If black people don’t turn up,
it’s toast. And even though he’s desperate,
Biden does make a good point. It is a little weird. You have
to admit, it is a little weird that the story
of the Democratic race has now been written
by two states that aren’t representative
of the Democratic Party. Right? Think about it. Two overwhelmingly
white states shape who the Democratic nominee
will be, right? And that’s long before minority
voters have had their say. It’s almost as if the Democratic
party is having a buffet, but then, white people get
to pick the menu, you know? And if you’re black, that sucks, ’cause you get there,
and you’re just like, “Man, why the hell is there raisins
in everything, man?” (laughter) “And who the (bleep)
is Broccoli Rab?” (laughter) So that’s where the race stands
after two primaries. Buttigieg and Bernie
are neck and neck, and all the other candidates
are hoping for a boost in Nevada
and South Carolina. Now if you’ll excuse me,
it’s time for us to go away
for a Klo-mmercial break. Get it?

100 Replies to “Bernie Wins New Hampshire, Biden Fades and Klobuchar Surges | The Daily Show”

  1. @trevor: Klo-Buch-ar? Really? We have already a Joke as a president. There will be a lot more if she becomes president, because Klo translated from German is toilet 🚽 and Buch is book. So read the books while your are sitting on the john? Hope she does not get elected, because majority of us Americans are already ashamed of our current president.

  2. If John Stewart were still hosting, he would be pointing out how absurd it is that the media is fawning over a third place LOSER. Noah sure is showing his establishment shill attributes.

  3. Nice, now it’s my turn to shit on anything and everything that comes from the left. You’re not united so divided you fall.

  4. Yes we all know that third place is so much better than first🙄

    She doesn’t even have a health care plan.

    I will be so happy when mainstreamed media and it’s comedians are no longer forced to pretend Bernie isn’t important.

  5. As an Iowan, I get the lack of diversity thing. The flip side, though, is that the media that showed up to cover the caucus in Iowa – with one exception – was all white. Only the Black and Brown Summit in Iowa had non white media personalities. So bitch about Iowa and New Hampshire all you want, but next time, bring some more diverse talking heads to tell the story. This isn’t just an Iowa or New Hampshire issue. The US needs to step up its game, damnit.

  6. Even the Daily show focuses more on Amy's 3rd place lose than Sanders' win.

    How is it that the democratic socialist winning Iowa and New Hampshire in a row isn't the big news? And if you disagree with what I just said, why isn't the foul play that went down in Iowa and the fact that Bernie won New Hampshire by a smaller margin than he "lost" Iowa the big news?

  7. Centrist Klobuchar, bottom line, you can't beat trump and you are essentially a "status quo politician". We've had a ton of those for many decades and that is why people are coming out and voting Bernie Sanders as the highest vote getter and future president.

  8. I miss coming down into the comments to like all the ones about Yang. It's a bummer he had to drop, looking forward to seeing what he does in the future though. #YangGang

  9. Sad to see even Trevor in the employee position talking about anyone but Bernie, just like Colbert. For some reason I thought he would be less corporate… Money, right? Corporate midia ignoring Sanders is almost conspiratory. I wonder if it gonna work again…

  10. Yang was my #1, Bernie is my #2 and Tulsi is my #3 vote! The hell with the DNC if they cheat again and try to push another corrupt candidate like corrupt Hillary on us! The DNC really thinks everyone is just going to vote blue! Honestly they did not learn anything from 2016! It is so sad but I will be voting for Trump and then maybe in the 4 years they can get their shit together! I don’t think we will ever have a president that is for the working class! It is sad but true!

  11. Comcast Hates Bernie. Comcast owns Comedy Central. Comedy Central owns the Daily Show. The Daily Show employs Trevor Noah. Comcast owns Trevor Noah.

  12. In focusing the nation’s attention for 19 weeks on impeachment and the Ukraine affair, Pelosi drastically impacted the Democratic presidential race by:

    Feeding the Democratic base non-stop red meat, radicalizing it and likely boosting Bernie Sanders.

    Keeping Hunter Biden’s sleaze in the news, surely weakening Joe Biden.

    Alienating moderate voters, who see how cynically House Democrats abused the constitutionally vital impeachment process. Indeed, Trump’s approval rating just hit an all-time high.

    Pelosi & Co. have deepened the nation’s divisions while driving their own party even farther off-center. That’s some “history-making” achievement.

  13. I’m a bit disapointed with the Daily Show. Come on Trevor, don’t do what all the mainstream media do and ignore that young people, more and more black people, and mid westerners are leaning towards Bernie. He fights for them, not for the big corporations and the 1%. He can beat Trump. Give Bernie the credit he deserves. (Sorry If I miss spelt. I’m Dutch).

  14. After those puns I want to drink some Chlorine.

    Also, on a serious note. Why is it, that most powerful person the world, is selected in a popularity contest?

    I mean I know how we got here. The reason is why?

  15. I refuse to vote for anyone but Yang or Bernie…Yang's out, that leaves one. The establishment Dems seem to be determined to push Klobuchar, who is basically a republican, and Mayor Pete who is just a gay male Hillary. No thanks.

  16. mainstream media working reaaaaaly hard to get a moderate corporate democrate to win. since when EVER has the third place made someone a the frontrunner with momentum?

  17. I have never in my life ever seen anyone in third/fourth place get the kind of attention as if they are first place??? Media klobuflating

  18. Bernie is the best candidate. He is going after those that control everything in America. And unfortunately that’s why he most likely won’t win. The rich knows he is coming for their money

  19. The people would have picked Andrew Yang, hands down. It’s too bad you are also part of the system that keeps people aware of the truth, because you would have treated his interview and policy material with more respect and believability. Your subtle jokes influence people and you know this. These other democratic clowns are void of good intent. Donald Trump didn’t mention Andrew Yang’s name on purpose, because Andrew’s popularity would have soared and Trump supporters would have converted to the #yanggang. Now you want to point the finger. Andrew Yang was the only candidate making any sense for the future of humanity. I see you Trevor. 🙏🏽🔥

  20. Why the f*ck are you only giving 2 sec of attention to the winner Trevor? The MSM are struggling mad to prop up names like Klobuchar, name recognition means a lot for american voters.
    It’s Bernie or Trump, and the Establishment hates the former 10 times as much

  21. Bernie Sanders is such a good man! Every time I hear him talk he makes me happy♡ It would be nice to have a president we could love again.

  22. It’s funny when Hilary won the popular vote they won’t stfu about how she won and forget the electoral college, but now Bernie has the popular vote and it’s like “yea well that doesn’t matter!” Smfh the bias is so unbelievably foul.

    I just don’t understand how they’re still peddling the same rhetoric about Bernie’s policies like they haven’t been debunked. M4A is cheaper than the current system we have. His policies are popular among the majority of the people and if it weren’t for the disingenuous rhetoric about socialism and false labeling/descriptions of his plans, he’d probably have even more people backing him without hesitation

  23. This is the most important truth that people don't understand. Dems and Reps are the same. A snake with 2 heads. Either feeding one or other. Bernie is the only Hope For This Country and sooner or later will shine among all nations on real good life quality and peace of mind. Swizerland or Denmark will only dream to what we can have with a revolution. I voted Trump in 2016 because Bernie didn't get the nomination. My family and some frinds promised ourselves to never vote again in our life because all is a mascarade for dummies. Now we have hope again with Bernie and that will be the case we will vote again✊

  24. Wow 3rd place is the place to be apparently….. Sorry Bernie unfortunately you came in 1st…. I love the irony c'mon trevor your better than this.

  25. Look at all the horror stories coming out about the records of Bloomberg, Buttigieg, etc.

    Bernie has the LONGEST record, yet the cleanest.

    Republicans will use All the Dem candidate's skeletons in the general.

    Bernie's the most trustworthy. Our best chance to defeat Trump.

  26. Presidential campaigns look like a joke… After Trump was sent free by USA corrupt so called legal system of ( justice)??

  27. … Hey this Communist traveled to Russia in Moscow when he was a lot younger and even more stupid

    Unfortunately back then he was under those Stalin idiots spell about the future

    But his Mrs. Marx Wife awesome woman saved him and she asked

    "where the fuck is Capital ? and make some instead just talk about it "

    🙂

    Life on Earth is Great

    …wow Thanks to folks like U Trev 😉

  28. Americans the best option for you is Bernie…when big money didn't like a candidate it means is the good one for the majority of the citizens,good luck for you.

  29. America wants Sanders2020. No matter how you twist & turn. Corporate Media is pushing Corporate master Bloom, Corporate poppet Pete & let's change nothing Amy. America, redeem yourself with Bernie.

  30. Lol good luck in the rural blue collar swing states with a gay yuppie elitist that’s owned by billionaires. Guess like 2016 u idiots can “ feel the Bern” when trump gets Bernies votes . Pete = Hillary 2.0

  31. Bernie supporters after every loss: We got cheated! 😢🤬

    Bernie supporters after every win: Why does everyone not worship our god-king enough🤬😡
    Can we go back to an America that doesn’t worship presidential candidates again?

  32. I wish Bernie wins this election…

    Do u know why ??

    Because treavor can do his voice amazingly and we will laugh for at least 4 years !!!!!

  33. We all know 3rd place is the best place to be and having 3% black support is essential to winning. Anymore then that and you're in trouble. Klaubaucher really almost blew it by coming in 2nd

  34. Let's be honest, mayor cheat and Klaubaucher don't have a chance in Nevada and the diverse states and if they somehow so good, there is something wrong going on. And Bernie has the most diverse coalition this time around

  35. Bernie Sanders is too left wing to win a Presidential election. He´s the American version of Jeremy Corbyn and look what happened to him. If he becomes the Democratic candidate it will be Trump for another four years. Be warned Democrats!

  36. Im not feeling, Bernie but if hes the front runner. He definitely have my 📝📝📝📝 Shit rite about now how things are goin I'll vote for Captain Crunch if he was runnin….

  37. In interest of honesty, I am “highly” extremely, indubitably, some could even say, truly, Beyond medicated.

    The following comment is NSFW.
    I would add it’s also NSFH (not safe for home or viewing anywhere really)

    The take away:
    Do not proceed any further, lest your mind (like mine) be slowly destroyed.

    Please.
    Stop Reading.
    Now.

    Okay. You were warned.

    Your sanity is in jeopardy, but you can make your own decision.

    Now Have fun.

    In 2017, I was perusing something similar to silk road with my friend Tor and his red onion.
    (My goddess that was an Immense mistake for which my sanity was the only currency. Depersonalization)

    The reasons I was surfing that side of the web are unimportant. Really.
    There were Mundane. So Boring.
    Don't ask. No point.

    However, to say the least, what was discovered was important, out of the ordinary, and extremely exciting.
    And I would add, would disgust, mortify and terrify most “normal” people.

    In fact, those highly trained military psychologists who designed the CIA’s torture program, would have trouble not screaming and vomiting, usually simultaneously, while watching these videos.

    Interestingly enough, I I found said videos in a file marked “Hilary’s email archive” so my perverse curiosity won that round.

    What I found instead of HRC's vague and ephemeral emails, was Trump’s “alleged pee tapes”

    Now I can tell you there are very real and they are much worse than anyone can fathom.

    However, there were some funny parts. After the numerous abhorrent and disgusting acts, namely him ranting as he does at his rallies, he then wrapped himself in an American flag diaper, said “Bing bing, bong bong, bing bing bing." And began to suck off, then chest bump Vladimir Putin.

    Trump dressed as Hillary and Putin dressed as Trump as they reenacted the infamous debate.

    After a few minutes, Putin mounted Trump and called him “mother Russia's bitch”.
    A few acts were performed, one involving a life sized "Steely Dan" and another involving water balloons filled with gasoline, among other things.

    Later, Putin would appear several times on camera in a blindfolded circle jerk with Maxim Sergeyevich Martsinkevich, Kim Jong-un dressed as his wife Ri Sol-ju, and Steve Bannon.

    Now this "tape" was actually a high quality MKV video format that was over fifteen hours in length.
    Funded by Cambridge Analytica.
    Written and produced by Putin, Maxim Sergeyevich Martsinkevich, and Steve Bannon.

    I could describe in detail these acts, but I don’t want anyone else to vomit until their eyes bleed or cause anyone else to need the year long in-patient psychiatric help I required.
    Because after viewing it many times and taking notes for my blog my mind was no longer my own.

    Now what I experienced watching those videos continually haunts me, and daily causes me to break out in an ice cold sweat.

    These videos made “two girls one cup”, look like VeggieTales in comparison.

    Suffice it to say, if you have seen “Black Mirror” season one episode one
    “The National Anthem” you’ll already have a clue as to what a portion of the video is like, because after a brief speech by Trump, Putin and Martsinkevich and his interpreter, that animal guest stars on screen, as Trump reenacts that scene for a full fourteen hours,

    It's sick, sick shite, but necessary viewing.

    Truly this was simply a really long joke, an excruciatingly long comment written in extremely poor taste.

    Because if Trump continues to try in vain to create his own consensual reality, then we have every right to use his own methods against him.

    Hahahahaha
    Teehee
    Ya…Yaw…Yawp
    Lol

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