How can young people
convince the rest of the country to get serious
on climate change? Trevor, why do young people have
to fix everything, you know? I’ve got enough problems.
I’ve got student loans. I’m trying break up
with my therapist. And I need to get unverified
on Twitter. If Wolf Blitzer’s got
a blue check, that’s just not cool anymore.
(laughs) Plus, like, why do we
have to fix climate change if we didn’t create it? Old people
got us into this mess. They should be able
to get us out of it. You know, I understand
where you’re coming from, but it may be too late
for only old people to solve climate change
by themselves. Okay. Well, then,
the least they can do is pay us. You know, young people deserve
compensation for the wrongs that the previous generation
has inflicted on us. You mean, like, reparations. No, reparations are for things
that happened in the past. Y’all are (bleep) us over
in the future. (laughter) (cheering and applause) So, like, technically, this is, like,
pre-reparations, you know. Like, preparation. Wow, I just made up a word. (laughter) “Preparations” is a word. Yeah, because I just made it up. Here-Here’s how it will work. You know, you pay young people
in proportion to how much you contributed
to climate change. If you drove a Hummer,
you owe, like, a thousand bucks. But if you ran a coal mine,
that’s ten million. And if you drove a Hummer
to the coal mine you own, give us all your passwords.
We’re taking all your shit. -This is happening.
-Okay. Okay. So the old people pay you, but then what do the
young people use the money for? Well, we’d do all the things
that we won’t be able to do once climate change
ruins everything. You know, like visit a glacier
or pet an elephant or, like, buy Beyoncé tickets. Well, I feel like now
you’re just using climate change to scam Beyoncé tickets. No, everything is gonna be
underwater, Trevor. That includes Beyoncé. Okay, you know what,
grifting aside, the idea of pre-reparations
makes sense. I actually think
I can get behind this. Really?
(chuckles) Wow. Okay.
(chuckles) I didn’t think that old people
would get on board so quick, but… (gasping, laughter) I’m… Dude, I-I– Like, I’ve-I’ve
talked to you about this. Stop calling– I’m not old. You don’t call me old
on the show. Di-Didn’t you get my voicemail
about this? I don’t know. What’s-what’s a voicemail? It’s-it’s a recording of my
voice that I send to your phone and then you listen to it. Oh! So it’s like a mini podcast
for one. That’s so cute. Goddamn it.
Jaboukie Young-White, everyone!