Robert Pattinson is trolling us all with his ridiculous interviews – Latest News

 Basically, Robert Pattinson is trolling us all – and it’s glorious.  From ‘complaining’ about the occurrence of masturbation scenes in his movies, to that time he told Matt Lauer he witnessed the death of a clown at the circus, the man is having the last laugh and we’re just lucky to be along for the ride
 And now, while on the press circuit for The Lighthouse, he’s seemingly turned his Batman into a pirate
 His joking is something that’s been simmering behind the scenes for quite some time but has only become apparent to me lately; the guy is one big troll
 And I’m not mad about it.  It all came to our attention back in 2011 when Robert, fresh from his heady Twilight days, was interviewed by Matt Lauer for Today
 At the time he was playing a circus hand in Water For Elephants when he was asked during an interview whether he, as a kid, ever dreamt of running away to the circus
 ‘The first time I went to see the circus, somebody died,’ he replied. ‘One of the clowns died
’    As Matt pressed him for more information – because how is this the first time he’s spoken about the horrendous time someone died at the circus he went to as a kid? – anyone else would back out and say they were lying
 Not Robert.  How did he die, Matt asked as Rob replied without missing a beat: ‘His little car exploded
The joke car exploded on him.’  Still not admitting it was a total lie when Matt continued to ask if he was being serious, he said: ‘Seriously
Yeah. My parents had to — everybody ran out. It was terrifying. It was the only time I’ve ever been to the circus
’  He fessed up a week later – A WEEK – when asked about the moment.  ‘I said those things
But I actually made the whole thing up,’ he said to a reporter.  He added: ‘Someone asked me what my experience with the circus was and I was like, I have nothing interesting to say
I don’t know why I said that!’  Over the years we laughed it off, wondered why on earth Robert would lie about such a thing
 Then there was the time he lied to Jimmy Kimmel about ‘pleasuring a dog’ during a scene for film Good Time
 ‘There’s this one scene we shot where a drug dealer bursts in the room and I was sleeping with the dog and basically giving the dog a hand job
’  He confessed: ‘One half of the directing duo told me to just do it for real and don’t be a p*ssy
’    As Trump may say – FAKE NEWS.  The next day he was forced to release a statement which said they would never harm a dog, and the anecdote was intended to be a joke
 It soon became apparent – Robert is a troll, and the last laugh lies with him, no matter how crazy the gag
 Then, a few months ago, Robert started talking about how much he masturbates for his films
 You might not think this is a trolling mood, but he seemed to be calling into question why on earth he was always being made to pleasure himself on screen
Apparently The Lighthouse’s ‘ferocious’ masturbation is the fourth time this has happened to him in a script
 Do I think he particularly cares about whether or not he’s masturbating – probably not
It’s Robert Pattinson; if he doesn’t want to be doing something on screen, he’s hardly going to
He surely wields the power to chat with the director about an alternative moment, right?  He’s Batman for goodness sake
 Which brings me onto the next example of Robert’s brilliantly-trolling ways.  Recently, while talking about his new role as the Caped Crusader he was asked by a reporter what his Batman voice is going to be
 The tone is important, after all – he’s got that husky, I’m going to kill all the villains, sort of vibe that chicks dig
Or at least that I do.  But, according to R-Patz, his Batman is going to have more of the pirate ways about him
Because, of course.  With the journalist mentioning co-star Willem Dafoe’s ‘gritty’ voice, Robert said: ‘Willem’s voice in this was quite inspiring for it, to be honest
It is pretty similar, the voice I’m gonna do, to Willem’s.’    Adding a pirate’s ‘Aaargh!’, the star had a laugh as he said: ‘I think Batman has a sort of piratey kind of voice – I think that will really suit it
’  He doesn’t bloody think the pirate’s voice is going to suit one of the most famous superheroes of all time, but that’s seemingly how this kid gets his kicks
 From being launched into interview after interview from a young age, after being catapulted to stardom as the shimmering Edward Cullen in Twilight, it appears Robert rather fiendishly figured out a way to pass the time from each laborious day of press to the next: lie
 How did it take us so long to realise we cannot take anything this guy says seriously?  He’s amusing himself, and in turn, he sure is tickling our pickle with his anti-Hollywood brand of humour that brings a fresh life to his insight
 Still, if his Batman did turn out to be a pirate, well, that’s be kind of awesome

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