Ronny Chieng Is Stuck in Australia | The Daily Social Distancing Show


While we’ve been going
through this corona crisis in America,
The Daily Show’s Ronny Chieng has been stuck in Australia. (ringing) There he is, Ronny Chieng. Hey! What’s up, Trevor? Oh, man.
So good to see you, dude. -What’s going on?
-Uh, I’m-I’m… (clears throat) I’m okay. Um, I
was actually visiting Australia when all this went down. Uh, I came here to peck–
pet a koala bear, and, uh, all this stuff
started happening. So I’m stuck in a hotel room
right now, and I’ve spent, like,
$2,000 on minibar peanuts. -Damn.
-Yeah, yeah. That’s– You got to be careful
down there, man. There’s a lot of corona cases
down there. Uh, yeah, it’s increasing,
just like everywhere. But, uh, don’t worry.
I’ve-I’ve been tested. Wait, are you being–
Like, are you being serious? -You’ve been tested tested?
-Yeah. I got tested for the corona.
Yeah, yeah. -Um, I-I just had to…
-I can’t– I can’t tell if you’re being serious right–
Did you really get tested? -Yeah, I got tested.
Yeah, I got tested. -Oh, okay. Like, just-just because you– Like, because, like,
you’re on TV or just– they’re-they’re just testing
people? I-I think they’re just–
I matched the symptoms, because, um, I had a cough
and I just came in from America. -And, uh, they gave–
they gave me everything. -Wow. They tested me.
They gave me a pap smear. -They gave me a pregnancy test.
Um… -(laughs) I-I had the whole– Everything. I did every exam I could
in that place. Wow. Okay. That sounds unnecessary. I don’t know why you did
the pregnancy test. Oh, but you’ll-you’ll be glad
to know that I’m not pregnant, by the way. Well, I mean,
that-that’s obvious. -You were never gonna be
pregnant. -I’m also not whatever the pap smear test.
I’m not that either. I-I don’t think it’s testing
for a thing to be. -I think that…
-Yeah, well, look… A-Anyway, anyway, I’m just– -I’m just saying… -The point
is I’m perfectly healthy. The point is
I’m perfectly healthy. Yeah. And the point is
it seems like it’s really easy to get tested in Australia, much
easier than it is in America. -Yeah, well… -It’s like
it’s impossible to get a test -out here.
-Yeah, I’m hearing stories. Again, I haven’t been in America
for, like, four weeks now. But, uh,
if it makes you feel any better, the corona test
doesn’t feel great, okay? They-they stick that swab
way up your nose. It touches the back of your–
back of your nasal passage. It’s-it’s like an anal probe on
your nose, man. It’s not good. Wait, so they just, like,
stick the thing up your nose -and then– Yeah. -They stick it
up and then they twist it, like that. Like they’re digging
your nose for you. Yeah, but not–
It feels like, uh… it feels like someone’s trying
to scratch your brain. Damn. Well, that sucks.
Well, I’m-I’m sorry, man. I’m sorry that you had
to get the test. I’m also sorry
that now you’re stuck in a hotel social distancing. -That must, like,
be double the pain. -No. No, no, I’m-I’m fine, man.
I love social distancing. I-I love– This is my jam.
I love this stuff. I get to watch TV all day
and eat whatever I want and wake up whenever I want. I didn’t have to wear pants. I’m not wearing pants right now.
It’s-it’s the best. Yeah, but what about
all the people who love you? -You don’t get to see them.
-Tho-Those people are the worst, by the way. People who love you
are the worst. They– Hugging and kissing
and rubbing is– Ev-Every form of-of af-affection
is like a corona bomb. No, thanks. Wow. Okay. So, if it was up to you,
you’d just be interacting over, like, video calls and stuff.
That-that would be your life. Absolutely. In fact,
when this thing is over, I hope this is the only way
we interact. I mean, I don’t have
to smell your breath. You know, I-I don’t have to–
I don’t have to, like, uh, be in contact
with your bodily fluids. And if I get bored, I can
just pretend I’m having problems -with the Wi-Fi.
-Wow. Okay, I mean,
that’s one way to look at it. But then, like,
what about, like, work and hanging out
with your friends? You-you always said you loved
hanging– having lunch with me -every day, so, I mean,
that’s-that’s… -Sorry. Trevor, I’m sorry,
the Wi-Fi in Australia is actually really, really bad,
so, uh, I-I can’t hear you anymore. I’ll-I’ll just talk to you
later, man. -See you later.
-Oh, okay. Bye. (beep)

100 Replies to “Ronny Chieng Is Stuck in Australia | The Daily Social Distancing Show”

  1. 0:35 The guy living in a country with 79.972 infected and 1.136 casualties (and horrible healthcare system) tells the guy in the country with 2810 infected & 13 casualties to "be careful down there, there's a lot of cases"
    Really?

  2. 1:40 that moment when you realize that neither of these two grown-ass-men know what a Pap smear is for 😂. For anyone else still in the dark, Pap smears check for cervical cancer (the cervix is part of the uterus)

  3. My ability to let loose ,all alone mind you, and cackle like an old crone over a caldron in a Shakespeare play is NOT gone. Thank you . Pink pattern wonderous!!!!

  4. Ronny better be careful… keep showing off those pink panties & he might wind up pregnant. 😉 #totallyRewound

  5. Have i watched this before? yes.
    Am i going to watch the whole clip again? YES.

    Both of them are so cute, thats keeping us sane..

    Thank you, TDS team.

  6. Lol! How did they do a pap smear? What cavity would have been swabbed? LOL! I sure hope Ronny doesnʻt have cervical cancer or another venereal disease!

  7. Ronny Chieng ya! True! Real! ..
    I told a lady that they say social distanceing.
    She say that don't matter and then she hug me, when the conversation was finished, I hid and wash off in hand sanitizer.

  8. Good thing America has the new front of the nose self test. American people have tested more than any other country. Tremendous!

  9. RONNY CHIENG!!! <3 <3 <3 "I'm also not whatever the pap-smear test– I'm not that either." I laughed so hard. You are one of the only people who is still funny without a laugh track. You are my hero. And beautiful.

  10. MAN! Ronny must had some bad run of dirt-bags! Trevor seemed particularly concerned toards the end and then Ronny cut him right off! I wonder if Trevor has some nasty breath or something…..

  11. Ronny Chieng is hilarious!! If he was ever being serious I would probably think he was joking and laugh at everything he said. Love how he had a nice jacket over his white shirt and boxers on. So funny!!

  12. Crisis? The biggest crisis is believing their lies!
    It’s scary that people can’t think for themselves. Before they did it with no plane, this time with no virus.

    Finally something funny!!!

  13. I got swabbed for Covid today (healthcare worker with a fever and it was still hard to get!). The swab sucks. They have to twirl the swab for 15 seconds and it feels like forever, then onto the next nostril!

  14. Tell the white Men and their favorite mix children, black might treat them " at 50% off evil", if they not rebellious.

  15. Just read how the US has the highest amount of Coronavirus cases, surpassing China and Italy.tRump should be happy…we are finally number one ☝️

  16. Is Ronnie in Australia because he finally got a nod from the producers for his Camel story?? Wasn't he itching to make a story about all those camels that are running around in Australia? 😅

  17. I come from China,It is highly recommended that you wear masks, not just sick people, because no one knows whether they are infected,pls,pls,pls。We are worried that you do n’t wear masks in other countries

  18. America is not testing people for the virus until they are sick enough to need a hospital bed and maybe not even then. What's wrong with this picture?

  19. I only watched this because I thought Ronny was going to call the coronavirus stupid. You disappoint me Ronny! I hope you get pregnant!

  20. Every time I get a sinus infection I've had that same swab done. Feeling "like it's trying to scratch your brain" is the PERFECT description!!!

  21. Am I the only one seeing Ronny has gained weight? Must be the $2000 peanuts he consumed from the hotel minibar.

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