While we’ve been going
through this corona crisis in America,
The Daily Show’s Ronny Chieng has been stuck in Australia. (ringing) There he is, Ronny Chieng. Hey! What’s up, Trevor? Oh, man.
So good to see you, dude. -What’s going on?
-Uh, I’m-I’m… (clears throat) I’m okay. Um, I
was actually visiting Australia when all this went down. Uh, I came here to peck–
pet a koala bear, and, uh, all this stuff
started happening. So I’m stuck in a hotel room
right now, and I’ve spent, like,
$2,000 on minibar peanuts. -Damn.
-Yeah, yeah. That’s– You got to be careful
down there, man. There’s a lot of corona cases
down there. Uh, yeah, it’s increasing,
just like everywhere. But, uh, don’t worry.
I’ve-I’ve been tested. Wait, are you being–
Like, are you being serious? -You’ve been tested tested?
-Yeah. I got tested for the corona.
Yeah, yeah. -Um, I-I just had to…
-I can’t– I can’t tell if you’re being serious right–
Did you really get tested? -Yeah, I got tested.
Yeah, I got tested. -Oh, okay. Like, just-just because you– Like, because, like,
you’re on TV or just– they’re-they’re just testing
people? I-I think they’re just–
I matched the symptoms, because, um, I had a cough
and I just came in from America. -And, uh, they gave–
they gave me everything. -Wow. They tested me.
They gave me a pap smear. -They gave me a pregnancy test.
Um… -(laughs) I-I had the whole– Everything. I did every exam I could
in that place. Wow. Okay. That sounds unnecessary. I don’t know why you did
the pregnancy test. Oh, but you’ll-you’ll be glad
to know that I’m not pregnant, by the way. Well, I mean,
that-that’s obvious. -You were never gonna be
pregnant. -I’m also not whatever the pap smear test.
I’m not that either. I-I don’t think it’s testing
for a thing to be. -I think that…
-Yeah, well, look… A-Anyway, anyway, I’m just– -I’m just saying… -The point
is I’m perfectly healthy. The point is
I’m perfectly healthy. Yeah. And the point is
it seems like it’s really easy to get tested in Australia, much
easier than it is in America. -Yeah, well… -It’s like
it’s impossible to get a test -out here.
-Yeah, I’m hearing stories. Again, I haven’t been in America
for, like, four weeks now. But, uh,
if it makes you feel any better, the corona test
doesn’t feel great, okay? They-they stick that swab
way up your nose. It touches the back of your–
back of your nasal passage. It’s-it’s like an anal probe on
your nose, man. It’s not good. Wait, so they just, like,
stick the thing up your nose -and then– Yeah. -They stick it
up and then they twist it, like that. Like they’re digging
your nose for you. Yeah, but not–
It feels like, uh… it feels like someone’s trying
to scratch your brain. Damn. Well, that sucks.
Well, I’m-I’m sorry, man. I’m sorry that you had
to get the test. I’m also sorry
that now you’re stuck in a hotel social distancing. -That must, like,
be double the pain. -No. No, no, I’m-I’m fine, man.
I love social distancing. I-I love– This is my jam.
I love this stuff. I get to watch TV all day
and eat whatever I want and wake up whenever I want. I didn’t have to wear pants. I’m not wearing pants right now.
It’s-it’s the best. Yeah, but what about
all the people who love you? -You don’t get to see them.
-Tho-Those people are the worst, by the way. People who love you
are the worst. They– Hugging and kissing
and rubbing is– Ev-Every form of-of af-affection
is like a corona bomb. No, thanks. Wow. Okay. So, if it was up to you,
you’d just be interacting over, like, video calls and stuff.
That-that would be your life. Absolutely. In fact,
when this thing is over, I hope this is the only way
we interact. I mean, I don’t have
to smell your breath. You know, I-I don’t have to–
I don’t have to, like, uh, be in contact
with your bodily fluids. And if I get bored, I can
just pretend I’m having problems -with the Wi-Fi.
-Wow. Okay, I mean,
that’s one way to look at it. But then, like,
what about, like, work and hanging out
with your friends? You-you always said you loved
hanging– having lunch with me -every day, so, I mean,
that’s-that’s… -Sorry. Trevor, I’m sorry,
the Wi-Fi in Australia is actually really, really bad,
so, uh, I-I can’t hear you anymore. I’ll-I’ll just talk to you
later, man. -See you later.
-Oh, okay. Bye. (beep)