Shutdown Day 20: Trump Heads to the Border | The Daily Show

Today marks day 20 of
the federal government shutdown. Farmers can’t get the loans
that they’re promised, people are facing evictions,
and the government’s so broke they had to start renting the
Lincoln Memorial out on Airbnb. And because 800,000
government workers are not being paid, some of them
were rallying in D.C. today. So we sent Michael Kosta
to show some support. It’s day 20 of the second longest
government shutdown in history. 1995, we’re comin’ for ya! Whoo! With no end in sight,
civil servants are marching on Washington, D.C.,
and the president knows why. People that won’t get
next week’s pay, or the following week’s pay, I think if you ever
really looked at those people, I think they’d say,
“Mr. President, keep going.” He’s talking about people
who work for the IRS or Homeland Security or NASA and are about to miss
their first paycheck. Time to give
these people a chance to speak
to the president directly and to tell him to keep going! This is a card
for President Trump to tell him to keep going. You write whatever you want
to President Trump -on his “Keep Going” card.
-American Federation of Government Employees,
hell no. He wrote,
“Keep going, Mr. President. We are all not behind you.” You mean “not not,”
is what he meant to write. Stop… the… B.S. “Stop the B.S.” Bad Seeds trying to come in
from over the border, right? We got it, Ryan. See? The people do support
the president. You tell President Trump
exactly how much you support him in what he’s doing. Don’t hold back. Maybe this rally just needs
a good, simple chant. Keep going! Keep going! Keep going, Mr. President!
Keep going, Mr. President! Where is everybody leaving? Come back. -(cheering, applause)
-Michael Kosta, everyone. Thanks so much, Michael. Now, with all the support
behind him, President Trump decided
to plow forward on proving his case
for a border wall. So today the commander in chief
put on his travel Barbie outfit and flew down
to the southern border to get a firsthand account
of the situation. And while he was there, he gave us all
a drunk history lesson. They say a wall is medieval.
Well, so is a wheel. A wheel is older than a wall. And I look,
and every single car out there, even the really expensive ones
that the Secret Service uses– and believe me,
they are expensive. I said,
“Do they all have wheels?” “Yes.”
“Oh, I thought it was medieval.” The wheel is older
than the wall, you know that? And, uh, there are some things
that work. You know what?
A wheel works, and a wall works. You know, if a football player
got up after a tackle and started talking like that,
the trainer would be like, “Uh, we need to get you
to the locker room now. Your brain is not okay.” And just by the way,
I don’t even… I can’t believe
we have to say this. If there are any kids watching that are gonna use this
on a history test, walls are actually much older
than the wheel. Right? 6,000 years older
than the wheel. (cheering and applause) Like, back in the day,
cavemen had walls. So I guess people should stop
calling Trump a Neanderthal, because a Neanderthal
would know that. #NotMyNeanderthal. Now, uh, after putting
the president’s word through Google Translate,
I think what he’s trying to say is that just because the wall
is old technology doesn’t mean it’s not gonna
be effective, right? The only problem is since walls
have been around for so long, people have had centuries to figure out how
to get through them. The president
in the Oval Office address and his administration
have been pushing this idea now of this, a steel slat barrier,
which is already in use down here
along the southern border. We know from DHS testing
over the course of the last year that all of President Trump’s
prototypes were breachable in some way. But now, for the first time, NBC News has exclusively
obtained a photograph of the steel slat barrier style
border wall design that was clearly cut through with what we are told
is a household saw. Okay, okay. Now, you laugh,
but to be fair, to be fair, you can’t just get through
with a household saw, okay? You also need some
immigrant can-do work ethic. ‘Cause let me tell you,
’cause let me tell you, I’ve tried…
I’ve tried sawing before, and that shit takes forever. After five minutes I was like,
“Forget it. I’m just gonna bury the body
in one piece. Like…” Actually, it’s so hard to saw
through that level of steel that I think
if a Mexican manages to saw his way into America, we should just give
that person a job. Yeah. Yeah, like,
just hire them. In fact, here’s my pitch.
Here’s my pitch. That should be how you do
merit-based immigration, right? However they manage to get in
should just be, like, the skill that you use to your advantage
in America. If you saw through,
you work in construction. Go, straightaway. Straightaway. If they climb over the wall,
you’re a firefighter now. Go, go, go, go. And then, all you guys
running away, we’ll see you
on the Olympic team! (chanting):
U.S.A. U.S.A. U.S.A. -MAN: U.S.A.
-U.S…. No, no, you, S.A. You, S.A. (laughter) Now… now, you… now, you’d think…
you’d think… you’d think the news that you can just saw through
a steel wall would be devastating news
for Trump, but apparently
he already knows about this, and he’s not concerned. There’s nothing
that can’t be penetrated, but you fix it. But it’s a very difficult thing
to do. But that’s a wall,
and they have other walls. We have many walls
under consideration. Even concrete. There’s acid
that can go through concrete. Don’t give them more ideas.
What are you doing? (laughter) I didn’t even know
that was possible. You’re gonna build a wall and then tell everyone how
to get through it? Trump would be
the worst bank robber ever. “This is a stickup!
But I’ve got weak wrists. “If you hit me right here,
the gun will fly out. It’s just gonna fly out.
Right here.” (laughter) But look,
I get what he’s saying. Again, I get it. Even if a wall
isn’t 100% impenetrable, it’s still better than nothing. And America’s gonna need
all the help it can get, because the way Trump tells it, things on the border
are about to get nuts. Here’s the story. There is another major caravan forming right now in Honduras. And so far we’re trying
to break it up. But so far it’s bigger
than anything we’ve seen. Wow. Another caravan. It’s so convenient how whenever
Trump needs to win something, a big, scary caravan
is always coming to kill us all. ‘Cause first
it was the midterms, and now it’s the shutdown. Like, I feel like
if Trump isn’t careful, he’s gonna run into a
“Boy Who Cried Wolf” situation. You know? Someday
there is gonna be a big caravan full of ISIS,
drug dealers and Shreks pouring over the border. And Trump will be like, “There
really is a caravan this time.” And we’ll be like,
“Whatever, old man. Aah! The Shrek’s
eating my face!” But still, like,
a caravan is forming across the southern border
and making its way north? I don’t know why,
but the president makes it sound like a hurricane of Hondurans
is heading for the U.S. You know? No, I mean, like, say what you want
about him as president, but Donald Trump would make
a great immigration weatherman. Here’s the story. There is another major caravan forming right now in Honduras. And so far we’re trying
to break it up. But so far it’s bigger
than anything we’ve seen. And a drone isn’t gonna stop it, and a sensor
isn’t gonna stop it. But you know what’s
gonna stop it in its tracks? A nice, powerful wall. (laughter) -So…
-(cheering and applause) So, clearly… Clearly, Trump is not budging
from his insistence on a wall, which means this shutdown
will keep going on for who knows how long, and that’s going to be
extremely hard on a lot of these workers, especially considering that many
of these government employees have to keep working even
if they’re not getting paid. And I’m talking everyone, all the way from Secret Service
to the TSA. And say what you want
about the TSA, but they work hard
to keep us safe. If they don’t get paid
for a long time, I’m afraid that airports could
start to look a lot like this. Hey, did they say
when we’re gonna get paid? Nope. (beeping) You good, man.
Come on through. -(hissing)
-(beeping continuing) Yo, I’m thinking
about becoming an Uber driver. That’s a good idea. I might renew my license. Do you get a car with that? No, those are personal.
They smell too bad. I mean, who knows how long
this thing’s gonna last? Trump said it could be years. Years? Yo, that’s crazy. Man, at least,
when I worked at McDonald’s, we could, like, take
free burgers home and stuff. Here, if I take somebody’s
luggage, then it’s a problem. -(beeping) -(horse neighs)
-Yeah, we just got to face it. Washington doesn’t care
about the little man. -All they care about is lining
their pockets -(alarm whooping) with corporate dollars–
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey. (whooping stops) This a sandwich? Oh, my God, I’m starving.
Go ahead. Have a safe flight. -(beeping)
-Yeah. -Is that banh mi?
-Mm-hmm. -Can I get some of that?
-Yeah, man, jump in. -Oh, my God, I haven’t eaten
since Tuesday. -Jump in. -Go on, man.
-(audience awwing) Roy Wood Jr. and
Jaboukie Young-White, everybody.

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