The Russian Scandal: The Crème De La Kremlin III | The Daily Show


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“The Daily Show
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♪ ♪[lilting string music]– Robert Mueller gave a list of questions
to Trump’s legal team. And those questions have now
leaked to the media. And everyone knows, unless it’s
in a hotel room in Russia, President Trump does
not like leaks.– The president tweeting this:– But you can tell from this
tweet that the president is really mad.
First off, because he says none
of Mueller’s questions are about collusion,
which is not true, because 14 of the questions are about collusion. But I guess if you round down,
14’s basically zero. And second–second, he’s really mad because he
believes that Mueller’s team leaked these questions
to the press. But… what if it turns out
the leak is coming from inside
the House? – It’s very likely, or at least it would
make a lot of sense, that the leak would come
from Trump world. – Because people
like us on television would be saying that this
is a really bad idea, and perhaps he listens
to the television more than he listens
to his own advisers. [laughter] – Being Trump’s lawyer
must be so exhausting. No, just think about it. He won’t listen to you, so you have to launder your
legal advice through the TV. And guess which news
did exactly what Trump’s team needed. – This garbage from
“The New York Times” tonight– absolute garbage. No attorney will ever
let this president sit down with
Robert Mueller. Half of these questions
are dumb anyway. You know, “Oh, what was
in your mind at the time?” You don’t–you don’t
punish people or charge people for the thoughts they
have in their head. – You know, my favorite thing
about Sean Hannity is, he’s the wrongest
right-sounding person you’ll ever meet. Because, you realize, you can
get charged because of the thoughts
you had in your head. It’s called criminal intent. It’s such a basic concept
of law and order that they put it in
the name of the show. [laughter][slow piano music]– A memo from President Trump’s
lawyers to Special Counsel
Robert Mueller says flat out that a president cannot
obstruct justice because he has authority over all federal
investigations. – What they argue
in this memo is that the President of the United
States, because he’s a chief
law enforcement officer, can terminate any federal
investigation at any time for
any reason. – According to Donald Trump’s
legal team, the President, by definition, cannot obstruct justice. But even if it ever turned out
that he did obstruct justice, they also say that
the President can’t be charged
with a crime.– Mr. Trump’s attorney,
Rudy Giuliani,
telling the
“Huffington Post”
it’s impossible to
indict a sitting president,
no matter the offense,
claiming…
– Okay, okay, so the President
can’t be criminally charged; he can only be impeached
by Congress. Now, I–I understand that
as a legal argument, but I do think it’s
a little weird that out of all the examples
they could’ve picked, they went with murdering
James Comey. [laughter] It almost makes me feel like they’ve been thinking
about this.[Russian folk music]♪ ♪– Before heading
to the summit,
President Trump
spurred controversy
by saying he wants Russia to
be welcomed back into the G8.
– We have a world
to run, and in the G7,
which used to be the G8, they threw Russia out. They should let
Russia come back in, because we should
have Russia at the negotiating
table. – I don’t know if Trump
colluded with Russia, but if everyone was accusing me
of colluding with Russia, I wouldn’t be caught dead
mentioning their name. Like, if your girlfriend
accused you of cheating with Keisha,
even if you didn’t do it, just shut up about Keisha. [laughter] Just shut up. “Hey, babe, you know who we
should invite to the party? Keisha.” “Nigga, I know you didn’t just
bring up Keisha. I know you did not just
bring up Keisha.” [applause] But clearly–clearly Trump doesn’t know how to take
a clue, because he kept bringing up
Keisha all weekend long. – Some people like the idea
of bringing Russia back in. This used to be the G8. Not the G7. And something happened
a while ago where, uh, Russia is no longer in. I think it would be an asset
to have Russia back in. – Crimea was let go during
the Obama administration. And, you know, Obama can say
all he wants, but he allowed Russia to take Crimea. – Ah, okay, okay.
That makes sense. Russia annexing Crimea wasn’t
really a big deal. But we must never forgive Obama for letting them commit
this atrocity! Which was not a big deal
at all. I mean, who even knows what
a Crimea is, anyway? I mean, it’s just a random
little place whose blood is in
Obama’s hands! Anyway, I think we should
invite Keisha. That’s what I’m saying. – If your name–
if your name is Vladimir Putin, then today was a very good day. Because today, the President
of the United States took your side in a fight
between you and the United States.– Breaking news:
siding with Putin.
President Trump comes out
of his meeting
with the Russian presidentand rebukesU.S. intelligence agencies.– I think
the press conference was the single most
embarrassing performance by
an American president on the world stage
that I’ve ever seen. – Damn. The most embarrassing
performance by an American president. Do you know how hard it is
to achieve that? George H.W. Bush
once threw up on the Japanese prime minister. And Trump is now on top. When they set up this meeting
last month, no one knew what it was meant
to be about, right? They never knew what
the meeting was for. They didn’t know if it was
gonna be about nuclear weapons. Was it gonna be about
the war in Syria, missile defenses in Europe? I mean, maybe it was just
gonna be Trump going in to see Putin for
his annual performance review. No one knew what it was. The meeting had no agenda,
right? But then on Friday, Robert Mueller dropped the bombshell directly charging 12 Russian military intelligence officers with hacking Democrats during the presidential
campaign in an effort to sway
the election, which was major news. So now, the formerly
purposeless meeting between Trump and Putin
had a meaning. All right?
It was time for Trump to put his foot down. And he did. Right on America’s dick. – Just now,
President Putin denied having anything to do with
the election interference in 2016. Every U.S. intelligence
agency has concluded that
Russia did. Who do you believe? – All I can do is
ask the question. My people came to me,
Dan Coats came to me, and some others. They said, “They think
it’s Russia.” Uh, I have
President Putin. He just said
it’s not Russia. I will say this: I don’t see any reason
why it would be. – Really? You don’t see any reason not
to trust Vladimir Putin? The man was a top KGB spy. He’ll steal the shirt
off your back. Hell, he stole the shirt
off his own back. You can’t trust this man. – The President chose Russia
in front of everyone. – You cannot cut deals
with the devil, and you can never
trust Russia. – Now, look, President Trump
is no stranger to criticism. Right? But it’s not often
that even his closest allies slam his actions. Even Newt Gingrich, former Speaker of the House
and swollen Mike Pence, tweeted that this was
“the most serious mistake” of Trump’s presidency and that he must clarify
what he meant. So, just like after Trump
praised the Charlottesville Nazis, today the President
was forced to come out and pretend to believe
something different than what he said. And I don’t know if you guys
believe in omens, but watch what happened. – Let me begin by
saying that, uh, once again, full faith
and support for America’s intelligence agencies. I have a full faith in our intelligence
agencies. Oops, they just
turned off the light. That must be
the intelligence agencies. [laughter] There it goes.
Okay. You guys okay? Good. That was strange. – I like how he’s checking
if everyone else is okay, but if you look at his
body language, he was like,
“I have full faith–” and when the lights come on,
he’s like, “Everyone else okay? “I’m cool. I’m cool.
You guys okay? I’m cool. I wasn’t scared at all.
I’m cool.” But that was insane. Trump tried to claim that he
believes the intel agencies, and then the lights went off. It’s like even electricity
is tired of Trump’s bullshit. It was just like, no. Like, I wouldn’t be shocked
if one day, Trump just starts floating because gravity’s like,
“Enough of this. I’m out. I’m out.
I can’t deal with this guy.” He said when it came
to hacking, “I don’t know why
it would be Russia.” Would be. Then he flies back to America and all of a sudden
that’s changed. How do you convince people
that one flight changed your mind completely? Well, the answer is,
not like this. – I thought it
would be obvious, but I would like
to clarify, just in case it wasn’t. At a key sentence
in my remarks, I said the word
“would” instead of “wouldn’t.” The sentence
should have been, “I don’t see any
reason why I wouldn’t– or why it wouldn’t
be Russia.” So… just to repeat it, I said the word
“would” instead of “Wouldn’t.” [laughter] – Oh, you know what… no, you know what?
That–that makes sense. I actually believe Trump
on this, and I… hold on, sorry, let me just
check my notes. Oh, sorry, what I meant
to say was, “Get the [bleep] out
of here, man.” [cheers and applause][Russian folk music]Michael Cohen.
Up until recently, he was known as Donald Trump’s
personal attorney, right-hand man, and a guy
who you’re pretty sure swallows a lot of bees. But as loyal as Cohen
was to Trump, everyone always suspected
that he would flip on him if it came down to it. Well, now we’re down to it. And Cohen is doing somersaults. – Michael Cohen claims that
then-candidate Trump knew in advance about the June 2016 meeting in Trump towerin which Russians were
expected
to offer his campaign dirton Hillary Clinton.He was informed
by Donald Trump, Jr.
about that offer.– Wow. That is shocking information. Donald Trump had an actual,
in-person conversation with one of his sons. [laughter] Also… [cheers and applause] Also, this–this Russia thing
is pretty big, I guess, but, I mean… yeah, because if they–
if they can prove that Trump knew that his
campaign was meeting with the Russians, it would go a long way
towards proving collusion. So Trump
knows that he needs backup, which is why he immediately
sent out the Bat signal. Unfortunately, all he got was the Bat Boy. But the thing about Rudy is, just when you think he’s
backed into a corner, he finds an even tighter
corner. – Cohen, you know,
always goes too far. When you’re lying,
there’s always a trap for you. So he said there was
a one-on-one meeting, that Donald, Jr. came in and told him about the meeting
that was about to take place. Well, there are two witnesses
who say it didn’t happen. – The President and his son? – All right. – All right. All right. All right, fine. You got me with your
very first rebuttal, and that has completely
destroyed my argument. All right, all right, I see how any thinking person could parry that attack I made,
all right. I see. Because, come on, man. I mean, props.
Props to Giuliani for trying. But the reasoning can’t be
that the crime didn’t happen because the people
accused of the crime say it didn’t happen. That’s not what a witness is. That’s not how it works. You can’t be like,
“Well, Your Honor, “I witnessed myself “not robbing the bank,
so cased closed. Let’s go spend this money.”
Oomp-oomp-oomp.– President Trump’s
former lawyer
and fixer
Michael Cohen
dropping a bombshellin federal court,pleading guilty
to lying to Congress
about how much
the President knew
about a potential
Trump Tower project in Russia
during the campaignout of loyalty
to President Trump.
While Cohen told
Congress last fall
that the Moscow project
ended in January 2016,
he now admits discussions
about the project
lasted as late as
approximately June 2016
when Trump was the presumptive
Republican
presidential nominee.– That’s right,
former Trump lawyer and human Eeyore
Michael Cohen… [laughter] Is admitting that he lied
to Congress about Trump’s real estate
dealings with Russia. And these aren’t like your
typical Trump real estate lies, like, “Of course we installed
smoke detectors.” No, this lie is way more
important, because it puts Trump’s contact with Russia much closer
to him being president. Right? In January 2016, Trump was just one of 17
possible morons who could become the GOP
nominee. But by June, he was the only moron who could become the nominee. Why deal with Russia at all while you’re running for
President of the United States? Why not just avoid
the conflict altogether? Well, turn to page bullshit
to find out. – I was running my business
while I was campaigning. There was a good chance
that I wouldn’t have won, in which case I would’ve gone
back into the business, and why should I lose
lots of opportunities? – Hold on, hold on, hold on,
hold on, whoa. Wait, did you hear
what he just said? Wait, he said the reason that
he didn’t stop his business dealings is
because he also thought he would lose. He just said that. He said,
“There was a good chance– a good chance that
I wouldn’t have won.” Well, that–yeah,
I agree with him now. [laughter] No, because before,
I was like, yeah, I’m against him, but in Trump’s defense, I understand why he did it. Like, I would have told him
to do the same thing. If in 2016, Trump came up to me
and he’s like, “Trevor, “do you think I should
shut down my business in case I become president?” I’d be like, “Donald, there’s no danger of that
happening, my friend.”[lilting string music]– Another shocking report
in “The New York Times.”
The paper claimed the FBIopened a counterintelligenceinvestigation into whetherthe President was acting
on behalf of the Russians
when he fired FBI director
James Comey.
Last night on Fox News, the
President asked point blank
whether he worked
on behalf of Russia.
– Are you now or have you ever worked for Russia,
Mr. President?– I think it’s the most
insulting thing
I’ve ever been asked.– How is that the most
insulting question he’s ever been asked? I mean, people have been
asking him if he wants to bang
his daughter, but that is more insulting? Yeah, “The other question
was way more reasonable. I mean, we’ve all seen her,
right? We’ve all seen her.” But yes, “The New York Times”
reported that the FBI investigated
Donald Trump because they thought he
might be a secret Russian spy, which, I’m sorry,
is just crazy– not because he wouldn’t do it, but because Donald Trump would
be the world’s worst spy. No one would hire him. Right? He–he can’t be a spy. He doesn’t even have
an inside voice. [laughter] He’d be out there like,
“Thank you for meeting me “under this bridge to exchange these top-secret
documents!” [laughter] I don’t think Trump
is a Russian spy. All right? But I won’t lie,
it doesn’t help his case when he’s doing
stuff like this.– A bombshell report
in the “Washington Post”
claiming President Trump
went to, quote…
The “Post” reporting
that at that private meeting
in Hamburg back in 2017,the President confiscated
his own interpreter’s notes,
shutting out members
of the administration.
– Now, you got to admit, that’s real shady, right? Because now everyone wants
to know, what did he say to Putin
that was so bad he couldn’t let anyone else
see it? Could’ve been collusion. Could’ve been something worse. You know, like maybe Trump
said, “I love you.” [laughter] And then Putin replied, “Thank you.” In which case, I’m with Trump.
You can never let that get out.[jaunty folk music]Collusion. It’s the big question about
the Trump campaign and Russia. But one place where there’s
definitely no collusion is between Rudy Giuliani’s
brain and his mouth.– In a new interview,
the President’s personal
attorney, Rudy Giuliani,says he cannot say if Trump
campaign officials
colluded with Russia during
the 2016 campaign.
– False reporting is saying that there has been no
suggestion of any kind of collusion between the campaign
and any Russian. – Well, you just misstated
my position. I never said there was no
collusion between the campaign or between people
in the campaign. – Yes, you have.
– I have no idea if– I have not. I said the
President of the United States. [laughter] – Wait. Hold on, hold on. Did Giuliani just admit
that there was collusion? [audience shouting] Yes! – I think he did.
And look at their faces. Like… neither of them can believe
what just happened. [laughter] Like–like, Cuomo looks like
a valedictorian caveman and Giuliani looks like if
Gollum realized he just left his wallet
in an Uber. He’s just like,
“My precious!” – Breaking news tonight. Longtime Trump ally
and adviser Roger Stone indicted by Special
Counsel Robert Mueller’s grand jury and arrested in an early morning raid
on his Florida home.– FBI agents
in bulletproof vests
descending
on his home,
guns drawn.– Stone was indicted
on five counts
of false statements,one count of obstruction,and one count of witness
tampering.
– That’s right. Special Counsel Robert Mueller has now charged
a sixth associate of Donald Trump. This time it was Roger Stone, personal adviser
to the President and what Mike Pence
would look like after one drink. Now… usually… usually, when someone in
President Trump’s circle comes under investigation, Trump downplays his
connection to them. That’s what he does. You know, it’s like how Trump
said that Paul Manafort was barely on the campaign or that George Papadopoulos
was a coffee boy or Jared Kushner was just
his [bleep]-blocker. But Trump might have
a harder time dismissing Roger Stone, and not just because
Stone dresses like he crashes
British weddings, but also because a big question
in this investigation is whether the Trump campaign
coordinated with WikiLeaks to release Hillary’s
hacked emails, right? And in his indictments, Mueller says that Roger Stone was directed to contact
WikiLeaks by someone in the Trump
campaign. Now, was that someone
Trump himself? We don’t know. But if it wasn’t Trump, you would expect his people
to just come out and say so. But instead, they’re avoiding
the question like it’s a friend’s
poetry reading. – The charges brought
against Mr. Stone have nothing to do
with the President. That’s what I’m clear on, and that’s what I can
tell you about it today. – You keep telling me
you’re clear on that, but then you will not answer
whether it was the President who directed a
senior Trump campaign official to contact Roger Stone,
and you may not know. You may not know.
All I’m saying– – I actually have answered
the question several times. You just don’t like my answer. – No, no, no, no.
You–you haven’t told– – Those two things
aren’t the same. – Well, did the President
know or not? Did–was it the President who
made that direction or not? – Uh, once again, I–
I haven’t read this document. – Okay.
– I’m not an attorney. I’m not gonna be able
to get into the weeds on those specifics. – That’s right,
I’m not an attorney. I can’t tell you
what the truth is. I’m not qualified. [laughter] Like, is it just me,
or does Sarah Huckabee Sanders say all Trump people
had nothing to do with Trump whenever shit hits the fan? I feel like this whole thing
is gonna end with her coming out like, “Uh, Donald Trump had nothing
to do “with the Trump presidency. “He was totally out
of the loop. Practically made zero
decisions at all.”

100 Replies to “The Russian Scandal: The Crème De La Kremlin III | The Daily Show”

  1. I love Trevor, but what he defines and "criminal intent" is no where near associated with "what you think in your mind". If we the people could be charged with what we think in our minds, then pretty much every American would be incarcerated on any bad day they have had in their lives, because we all think crazy shit on those really bad days…but we cope, we adjust, and we rebound.

  2. The scandal is, that the whole "russia" accusation was, and is BOGUS. But the media will NEVER admit that. And you won't either.

  3. Donny, you know that when Putin is finished with you, you will end up in Siberia… right? I wonder if they need a tower in Novosibirsk?

  4. so pimped trevor , putin was part of the security envoy of Gorbachev & comes from honest good working class .

    pimped for $$$

  5. I will never be able to forget that Trump sided with Russia on Finnish soil…we will never be clean

  6. Comparing to Brazil, this is like heaven. We cannot even trust the STJ, or the higher court of justice, much less our politicians.

  7. im not saying that trump is actually a russian spy, but if trevor says that trump would make the worst spy and if everyone thinks so, does that not mean that he is actually the best choice for a spy?

  8. This is such a load of BS! I guess its more important demonizing Putin and scoring easy points on trump instead of going with the truth. Im not a Trump supporter but having him as President is a hell of a lot better because then Clinton. Trump has almost everyone against him limiting the damage he can do. Saving us all from WW3 this far. 🤐 Btw the DNC emails was not hacked, they were leaked and someone paid with their life for it!

  9. Why not live in a world of goodness and friendship?? People are sometimes so miserable, faceless and soulless. Is it possible to change smth? Small thing begins from you.

  10. @10:37 ACTUALLY he says " My secretary will contact you to finalize your purchase of America Putin, & I gotta tell ya Ive given ya a SWEETDEAL"

  11. We are already missing the Daily Show. September 3rd is too long to not have Fresh episodes of the Daily Show with Trevor Noah On Air…You guys are being missed.

  12. Trump is always defending Russia and doing what benefits them. He'd rather win an election then protect our country

  13. Och, how I laughed when you called him ”Vladdy!” ….I have not have such a great laugh ( and ”inside I weep) at the political system in the States now, but in in most countrys…but things ARE changing….hope people know that we have NO other options…we’re spirits having a human adventure, but now we must wake-up and turn to consiousness to live a much better, real life. Its all about LOVE.

  14. Eh, idk if these people know it but the dutch intelligence figured out that russia manipulated in the american elections, they told the FBI and the FBI released it.

  15. When a comedian is a better journalist than the actual journalist , one might wonder how big the yellow journalism has grown!!!!

  16. There he goes again…hatin’ on Barack.He should just shut up.He just shows how intimidated he is by Obama.As well he should be…

  17. Trevor, you're mongering Russian fear, North Korean fear, and all other kinds of political fear around the country.

    Cannot you "monger" peace and love?

    You are a public figure, and you should know better.

  18. That's true that's true he is the only one that can do a crime and get away with it the president has 100% immunity. I thought you knew what you ain't knowing you must be new you hush must be feeding you Fish Head stew. That's why mrs. Clinton can destroy her emails.

  19. Trevor Noah, I enjoy all your show with a great sense of humor! We need a more brilliant person like you on The Daily Show!

  20. Wow. Over here in Sweden we actually get news. Everyone knows that Trump isnt a russian stooge over here in Europe. The left in America are not left at all by European standards. Using fascist smear tactics doesnt belong in a left party in a Democracy. But I love watching American fake news cus its like some scripted reality show lmao.

  21. The “collusion” trial will be next month, when the Roger Stone trial begins … the Unnamed Conspirator will going through his Impeachment… oh the timing!

  22. Schiff. Hannity in a cage, or deport him back where ever his ancestors came from, so he could take his dirty lies with him and his lying network!!!

  23. "At the Wannsee Conference one copy of the Protocol with circulated minutes of the meeting survived the war. It was found by Robert Kempner in March 1947 among files that had been seized from the German Foreign Office. It was used as evidence in the Subsequent Nuremberg Trials. The Wannsee House, site of the conference, is now a Holocaust memorial." The notes at the Wannsee conference were thought to have been destroyed. Sounds familiar.

  24. I think it's so funny every time Trevor says something about a Republican republicans get all butthurt funny but every time he brings one of you guys onto his show he makes y'all look very ignorant and I bet y'all thought the same about him huh until he proved his intelligence wow people these days need to learn how to take a fucking joke and get over it apparently everyone has gotten over the joke in the White House cause he's still there fucking us up on the world stage making us a laughingstock for every other country to poke jokes at. Look at the divided America that trump supporters want do they not realize that divided we fall.

  25. Trump denies Russian interference because he knows it will de-legitimize his presidency. The people to whom the presidency is bestowed should always, ALWAYS side with their country when a hostile foreign government, or an adversary tries to disrupt our democracy, our elections, and our interests. They do not take the word of a murderous authoritarian president over their own intelligence agencies. It makes the country look weak. It causes a rift between the people to be suspicious of the agencies we rely on to protect our people and interests here and abroad.
    Trump is a very weak and very insecure individual who is motivated by one simple thing: his delicate ego. All anyone needs to do to manipulate Trump is give him compliments and that's a very dangerous thing.

  26. No one mention the man that died in trump hotel in New York when there was a fire!!! Bet he had a lot to tell and also Epstein? That was a conspiraed job. He had a lot to tell too. A bunch of crooks in the Whitehouse and our governments, period. Sad part they want the American people to have nothing, no jobs, no healthcare, no food stamps, ect., but they live super heavenly and golf at maralargo!!!

  27. “I meant to say wouldn’t instead of would” that is the most bullshit claim I’ve ever fucking heard ever ripped out of someone’s bullshit filled mouth

  28. Some say trump is the Antichrist, I disagree, but I do have it on good authority he has a deal with Satan to build some hotels in hell after he destroys the world.

  29. In Helsinki, DJ Trump got his orders from the boss.
    The Vlad asked for pay-back, after he put the Donald in the WH.
    Remember what happened to JFK when he did not 'pay-back' the Cosa Nostra that put him in the WH.
    LH Oswald was not responsible for JFK, He said so … he was framed !

  30. Respect from Russia, Sochi 🇷🇺
    I'm a fellow South African that emigrated to Russia 🇷🇺
    We support Donald Trump

    www.instagram.com/vivadiebokke

  31. To watch this ill-placed idiot through his early days of nonstop lying, grifting, corruption, and criminal behavior was nauseating enough. But to watch the man in the most powerful position in the world suck off Vladimir Putin while denouncing his own intelligence agencies was, jaw-dropping. How in the world could anyone think this pathological liar and ignoramus was anything but a weakling and a charlatan?

  32. How do they allow such a clown Trevor Noah to make a Career of disrespecting the American president?! He has nothing to do in his shows time after time other than offend mr Trump, maybe he thinks the other presidents did better or he would probably do better!
    Complete disgrace!

  33. "I don't see any reason why it would be . . ." little whine when he's lying. He was chicken shit to say "wouldn't" in front of Pooters.

  34. Crimea always belonged to Russia until Nikita Khrushchev gave it to the Ukraine as a gift back in the 1950s – lets not forget about that! So who would call it an annexation anyway? The people there freely (!!!!) chose to get back to Russia with a referendum… And everybody calls Russia out on being the bad guy here…
    What about Serbia wanting to be a free state back in 1998 by referendum and NATO decided to "free" them and started to bomb Jugoslavia back then? … That was a real violation of the civil rights act of the UN and forced many european partners of the US into a war that nobody ever wanted and that was unnecessary in the first place.
    What about NATOs promise NOT to reach out to the eastern states after the USSR collapsed? – Promise broken and we had all over there and tensions are rising (just take a look at the so called "defense shield" of the US in east european states.
    Actually it is the US threatening all countries on the world with sanctions or military actions if they don't obey…. So tell me please: who is the real bad guy (terrorist) of the world?

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