Trump’s Latest Beefs: Chrissy Teigen and the Taliban | The Daily Show


Yes, it turns out President
Trump is so embarrassed
by his hurricane blunder that
his administration threatened
to fire any weather officials
who wouldn’t back up
his alternative facts.
And, guys,
the NOAA
doesn’t have time for this.
-Their job is to monitor
hurricanes. -MAN: Yeah!
If they’re distracted
by Trump’s beefs,
you realize what could happen.
We could have
a giant backlog of hurricanes.
They can’t come in. Yeah.
Because,
without their hurricane permits,
they’re not allowed
to come into the country.
It’s a whole process.
You have to get your name,
your category.
It’s just like they’re waiting
in line, like,
“Hey, what’s goin’ on?
We’re trying to get in!”
(laughter, clapping)
It’s just, like, a whole–
a whole thing.
And while the Weather Service
is trying to deal
with Trump’s hurricane beef,
he’s already started
another one.
The president also sparked
a beef with John Legend
and his wife, Chrissy Teigen,
last night.
Uh, it apparently happened
after he watched
an MSNBC special
with Lester Holt and John Legend
on efforts to fix the broken
criminal justice system.
He tweeted, in part…
(reading):
John Legend responded,
tweeting this…
(reading):
Chrissy Teigen also responded.
Her tweet, uh,
we cannot put on-air
due to its vulgarity.
(laughter)
That’s right. Donald Trump
lashed out at John Legend
and Chrissy Teigen
because he feels like
they’re taking credit
for achieving
criminal justice reform instead
of giving him the praise.
Now, John Legend
and Chrissy Teigen both hit back
at the commander in tweet.
You saw John’s reply.
But Chrissy Teigen’s response
was too vulgar
for the news to repeat.
Luckily, we’re not the news.
(cheering and applause)
So…
here it is.
Trump called her “John Legend’s
filthy-mouthed wife.”
But because he didn’t have
the guts to tag her on Twitter,
Chrissy Teigen called him
“a pussy ass bitch.”
(cheering and applause)
And…
and, to be honest,
to be honest,
I don’t know why the news
can’t say that on-air.
It’s a well-known
medical condition
in which a bitch’s ass
is replaced by a pussy.
And I think the more we talk
about it in society,
the more we can destigmatize
this serious disease.
So, Trump’s beefing
with the weather
and he’s beefing
with celebrities.
But there’s one Trump beef
that might actually have
major real-world consequences.
REPORTER: A developing story out
of Washington this morning.
President Trump revealing
in a tweet
that he had been planning
a secret meeting
-with the Taliban. -REPORTER 2:
Tonight, the White House
had hoped to surprise the world
with the Taliban at Camp David
signing a peace deal,
as President Trump tweeted
Saturday night…
(reading):
-(siren wailing)
-But the president canceled
the secret summit after
Thursday’s suicide bombing
at a Kabul checkpoint.
Trump said in his tweet
that he immediately canceled
the peace talks, asking,
“How many more decades
are they willing to fight?”
Okay, this story’s wild.
Over the weekend,
Trump tweeted out
that he was canceling
a secret meeting
he had planned with the Taliban
because they had launched
an attack in Afghanistan.
And this came out of the blue,
because no one knew
Trump had scheduled peace talks
with the Taliban.
Like, what Trump did here
is like your best friend
telling you that he’s getting
a divorce and you’re like,
“I didn’t even know
you were married.”
And he’s like, “Yeah, dude.
It just wasn’t gonna work out.
She killed 11 people
in Afghanistan. It was crazy.”
This whole thing was wild.
Did you hear what they said?
They were like– they wanted
to surprise the nation.
Yeah, everyone would’ve been
surprised if they were like,
“The Taliban’s at Camp David.”
“I’m sorry, what?”
“Surprise!” It’s
the worst surprise in the world.
And, now, if you’re
still confused by the story,
you’re not the only one.
But as far as we can understand
from what’s being reported,
here’s what they say
really happened.
Over the past nine years,
the U.S. government
has been trying to get
a peace deal with the Taliban
to end the war in Afghanistan.
Right?
In the past few weeks,
it looked like that deal
was close to happening.
But when Trump heard
about this deal,
he demanded that the Taliban
come to Camp David in America
to sign the deal
with him on camera
so that he would get the praise.
But the Taliban didn’t want
to come to America,
firstly, because they don’t
trust the United States,
uh, which I understand.
They’re like, uh,
“We’re not coming there.”
And, secondly,
because they probably don’t want
to deal with the TSA.
(laughter)
Can you imagine how stressful
that shit’s gonna be for them?
(applause)
Just gonna come in…
(applause and cheering)
…as the Taliban?
You have to fill out
the little forms.
The guy at the TSA’s
gonna be like,
“So, uh, what do you do
for a living?”
Be like, “I’m the leader
of the Taliban.”
“So you’re a terrorist?”
“Yes, but not for this trip,
okay? Not for this trip.
This time, I’m off the clock.”
So the Taliban refused
to come to America,
and Trump tweeted out, “No,
I’m breaking up with you guys.”
And, so, there is a possibility
that the war in Afghanistan
will continue now
because Trump has put
a photo opportunity above peace.
-(audience groaning)
-Yeah.
Which, according to WebMD,
is a classic symptom
of a pussy ass bitch.

100 Replies to “Trump’s Latest Beefs: Chrissy Teigen and the Taliban | The Daily Show”

  1. Why to look to make peace with barbarians that fight against Freedom and are well known for their medieval treatment of women, gay or anything not looking as they are? Should he not try to fix his Relationship with allies first or the USA are going to be Taliban frriendly?

  2. Trump probably doesn't like Chrissy because she was smart enough when younger to not fall for his crap and go out with him. Must have been a blow to him, what, a beautiful model not interested in him?

  3. If Donnie Dipshit would just flip a coin, he'd manage to do the smart thing at least half of the time. Or maybe the W.H. staff could give him a Magic 8-Ball. Anything would be better than relying on his malignant ego and defective brain.

  4. It's funny that Trever NOAH pronounces the NOAA like N-O-A-A, and not like how most everyone else does… as NOah. like his name.

  5. Okay now😂. What a clap back from Chrissy Tiegen!…on another note Trump is just rude and vulgar. Does that guy even have advisors for his twitter? Yooo!😂

  6. The president is so petty he takes up personal beefs. You'd think a president would have other pressing world matters like golfing.

  7. fun Fact and summary about Taliban, they are not terrorist as news and media present them, they were the armed force that fought Russia, USA stuck it's nose because of cold war to weaken the Russians( something like the enemy of my enemy is my friend), that's why you see the so called "leaked photos" of USA military training Taliban recruits,
    Afghanistan got it's independence and Taliban started recovering after the long war….again USA stuck it's nose where it doesn't belong and killed it's children in vain for resources in the process… yes in vain USA betrayed Taliban after all this years of collaboration
    Taliban is still controlling 80% of Afghanistan yes USA is weak and one thing they have is moderate fighting from far away (long range missiles) and good hitting from high altitude from sky (jets) the intelligence and other stuff nothing impressive if not the worst of all armies in the world they always take France or Britain with them since the embarrassment of Vietnam ironically they are good at spying on their own citizens sadly…
    Taliban they represent the real values of Islam USA media didn't have a chance to miss up with Afghanistan's peoples beliefs (there is few more countries for their own benefit we'll keep them secret) and they are people who do justice even if it's against a higher up like the first leader …long story about Islam. in short they have better system to advance and catch up even better than democracy…that's right it's better than democracy in fact better than communist and every other political system…France England USA….actually they copied the Islams rules and ways of doing business from Islam with few changes like adding interest in lending money system ( Islam makes it highly forbidden dealing with interest) ….if you want to dive deeply in this subject read a book by <<gustave le bon>> named the Arabs Civilisation and how Napoleon saved France using Islam Traditions and law
    Osama was not the leader of Taliban so the fake victory USA soldiers feels has no basis, Ossama was in charge of something called house of guests it's a costume in Arabic world to have a house reserved for guests in their tradition there is no unwelcome guest when ever you come you are welcome.
    in this case he was hosting new recruits that will join the Armed force it's the first place they must visit to check their knowledge of Islam and correct in misunderstanding they have and such…good job USA you killed the person responsible of providing the free food service and education a job that anyone can do lol

    On the other hand USA military been trying many chemical forbidden weapons and tactical weapons among many things mainly forbidden weapons but still not up for the resilience of Taliban Soldiers and the world community dare not say a word or hold USA accountant for it's horrible deeds….,

    Ossama after 11/9 made a video condemning the act and considered it a terrorist act and the one committed it should be punished accordingly ===> fast forward few years USA experts come to the conclusion that it was an inside job ===>…fast forward few more months Afghanistan is announced to have the biggest reserve of lithium in the world …we are talking Trillions of Dollars baby …..
    Heroes farming restored by the USA in Afghanistan after Taliban got rid of it

    Now according to this side of story be an honest judge and say who is the terrorist?
    1- the one who is protecting his familly
    2- or the one travelling hundreds of thousands miles to make war and steal gold and lithium….

  8. You know what's NOT funny? The fact that weather manipulation is real & is one significant driver of climate deterioration. NOAA & NWS employees have to sign NDAs. Isn't that a little odd? Our radar systems parked Dorian over the Bahamas. Do some research, they're not even hiding it anymore because folks don't want to believe we'd actually kill people. Sad but true, we wage war all around the world.

  9. Trevor. Don't use the expression "alternative facts". Do you want credibility to your words? Speak the truth or announce if something is a lie. What the hell

  10. While Legend’s Tweet was clever, well formed and powerful @christineteigen’s tweet was simply vulgar and rudimentary at best. Even to insult someone in today’s world we ought to be classier, smarter. The new normal is also conformed by cheap shots and low level spews. I hear this sort of talk in any public place now at days and people seem encouraged to act, respond, and behave like that. Thug-like.

  11. Why's Trump triggered tho???? it's just locker room talk right?! 🤔 🙄😂😂😂Must be one of those things where it's only ok if he speaks like that. 🤦‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

  12. Vulgarity….. Define that fox News?? It's just biology is what she commented, she didn't even use words trump or donald…

  13. Chrissy actually does have a filthy mouth. If i were president i would have these two husband and wife "celebrities" picked up by some dark ops guys and would have taught them a lesson in how to respect the president by breaking her jaw one tooth at a time and then chopped her hands off and shoved one in her fat horse ass looking shitter and one in her fat blackhole stinky pussy and then sealed them both shut with some industrial glue that has acid in it so it burns constantly and then shove a giraffe dick down her throat that was preordered from one trevors gay african poacher gorilla butt taking buddies and use the same industrial glue to seal her mouth shut all this happens while john and trevor suck each other off.

  14. I put out a challenge to the sane people of the US: Get rid of your president by end of this week and I’ll eat at Chipotle! I don‘t care how you do it bit just do it! Deal? 🤨

  15. lmfao!!! y’all be making up stories to hate on the president! sure , this ain’t da news, but why can’t news stations actually FOCUS on current events rather than saying “trumps a loser”… trumps legit done more for this country than obama could have dreamed to do, presuming that while president his thoughts were even focused on the country and not on using our money on buying his girls nice things. trump gets $0.01 a YEAR for his duties. and he’s doing amazing. he don’t need y’all giving him hate , i mean what , let’s hate on trump for giving us more jobs? wow i HATE trump because he’s trying to keep ILLEGALS out? excuse me, but if someone’s coming into the country ILLEGALLY they are putting themselves at risk. they can just come here legally, yeah it might be a process, but they’ll save themselves the trouble. if they’re too lazy to go and legalize their citizenship, then it’s on them, not trump. and think about it… most of the current terrorists are illegals. so y’all want terrorists? fine. but then y’all complained. make up your mindssss guys. y’all hate trump for no reason, or because you think it’s “cool”. please explain what’s so cool about being a bully? yeah , i didn’t think it was. even if trump was a bad president, saying rude things and threatening him and his family isn’t gonna affect his job, so just leave him alone.

    trump wants to keep terrorists OUT of the country and what are you guys doing to support it? you’re not! you WANT those terrorists, i guess. you WANT your loved ones to be injured or killed, then. and if his idea of a wall is a bad idea, then instead of fighting him, just propose a better idea! and nobody did that. so let him do as he pleases, he’s very smart and knows what to do. he cut your taxes and how do you thank him? by threatening to kill his child. unbelievable.

    i’m hoping that whoever read this has an open mind, and thank you to those who read this and refrained from hate comments. i understand i may receive some, but those will only be from the people with little understanding of the situation , who didn’t even read this whole comment , or simply people who wanna start drama. chances are i’m not going back on this account for a while, so whatever you send me, i’m not gonna get it. save yourselves the rage and maybe see the world through somebody else’s point of view for once.

    **key: when i said “y’all” or “you guys” or whatever, i’m referring to the people who disagree with the action and are hating trump for it. i’m not trying to make all the dems look stupid, that’s not what this comment is about. i just want to give you guys another perspective, and presuming you read with an open mind maybe you’ll see these situations differently. i hope so. our country is so divided, and NO it’s not trump’s fault. it’s ours. most of trumps haters didn’t even give him a day before they started hating on him. try putting yourselves in his shoes. and thank you (for those who will be respectful if they’re going to express their point of view in the comments WITHOUT being rude about it, and to those who simply just took their time to read this comment.)

  16. I've never seen any president, heard of or read of that wasted sooooo much time watching TV and then tweeting or going on the news/newspaper, about it as if people gave a crap … We have actual issues that need taking care of and the president is doing nothing but watching T.V and tweeting …… You know those moments in history that you wonder WHY it happened, and find out that it was a simple desicion that was a mistake ?? Trump just did that with the Taliban … If you don't know the Talibans History with western powers, Wikipedia will help you out …. HOLY CRAP … One more year people … Then VOTE

  17. "We don't negotiate with terrorists!" – Unless they are responsible for 9/11, in which case we fuckin try to negotiate a peace deal!?

  18. So something that has been worked on for almost a decade and this pussy a** bitch blew it up to satisfy his ego. Can we really be surprised. What a dotard.

  19. He is exactly that! It’s okay when he calls people filthy words. And, I thought there was an adult in the room?? He is clueless and care only about his freakin’ ego.

  20. The President invited the Taliban to the historical American Camp David for the week of 9/11!
    Nobody is supposed by his shit anymore.
    This is barely making any news.
    This is becoming like an over the top unbelievable Mel Brooks movie.

  21. All jokes aside, can you just imagine he screwed up a potential peace deal of the century, and all because of a missed photo opportunity?
    What a world.

  22. #PresidentTweety leaked it before anyone else. He knows what a bunch of rats he's hired, so if he didn't blab it was going to come out anyway, making him look even more stupid. If that's possible.

  23. I was never much of a Chrissy Teigen fan, but THAT'S how you deal with a snowflake troll.
    …I hope the name sticks. #Presidentpussyassbitch

  24. First time in history the president of the united states was ever called a pussy ass bitch, publicly…

    Also first time in history the government puts lives in danger by forcing us to believe Alabama was going to get hit with a hurricane… When its not and the president is avoiding responsibility for HIS mistake… Putting lives at risk over his pride…

    And more so by stretching the war with the Taliban… Over a Fucking picture… 

    So when do we Execute the traitor?

  25. Come on, by now he doesn't have a personal assistant that specializes in both, Presidential Protocol and morality? An adviser, any one with some knowledge of Executive etiquette? Now that I think of it, I wouldn't want the job either.

  26. Wow invites Taliban, can someone please remind me whom Attacked us on 9/11 let alone in Afghanistan. Didn't they say The Taliban.

  27. Kanye West & President Trump are the only people who gave a dam about uplifting , empowering & making black America great again and now that a lot of the necessary work has been done ( Justice reform, Urban renewal , welfare to work marriage & self determination ) these boule sellouts like John legend, Jay Z & Steve Harvey want to swoop in & take the Credit. All they really care about is money & fame.
    https://youtu.be/4t34v8ghrxI

    http://www.fox32chicago.com/news/national/trump-administration-plans-tougher-rules-for-able-bodied-welfare-recipients

    https://youtu.be/XoTZZDqvGS4

    https://youtu.be/mLjxbGlyuYA

  28. David Rockefeller Quote
    “This present window of opportunity, during which a truly peaceful and interdependent world order might be built, will not be open for too long – We are on the verge of a global transformation. All we need is the right major crisis and the nations will accept the New World Order.”
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dIg7XBcXxEk
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VtlO39wIRWs

  29. Brenda K – You're an idiot. Trump is an over achiever. He hates to fail. This economy is the best it's ever been but weak minded morons are saying that he doesn't know what he's doing. The liberal, illuminati media is brain washing you an for most of you a sponge bath will do.

  30. I have to say, that because you are a socialist, I think you an enemy of the Constitution and therefore an enemy of the state. I don't like you for that. Trevor, it is the Constitution's 1st Amendment that allows your success and Capitalism that allows you to prosper. How do you not get that? Still, dagnabbit, Trump is a Pussy Ass Bitch. That man done lost his mind. Can we just not find 3 people to stand up and say this man is NOT Competent? Guess Not.

  31. Wow, I sincerely do not understand this President at all because, he's in many ways belittled himself as the nation' head of state. I mean, I'm just out of words

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *